


Five Times

by kavkakat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 10:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1978962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kavkakat/pseuds/kavkakat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five moments of varying length that Sam and Cas spent together that we never saw in the show. (Seasons four through seven, canon compliant despite my current feels on that subject.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times

**Author's Note:**

> First posted to my [tumblr](http://kavkakat.tumblr.com/post/40065739032/five-times).

I.  
  
Dean’s back from hell, and there are angels, and even though they don’t seem at all what Sam thought they would be, they are still angels. And Sam is still - well, Dean might not know about Ruby quite yet, exactly what they’ve been doing together, but the angels must.  
  
Sam’s outside, clutching his cell, hoping Ruby will return his three messages. Hunger burns in his stomach and at the back of his throat, creeping slowly up toward his brain. It’s not a pleasant feeling, and all he wants - all he needs - is one sip, just one.  
  
There’s a flutter of wings behind him, but he doesn’t turn around until he hears Cas say, “Sam,” because there are things called birds, and why would an angel visit him?  
  
But Cas speaks, and Sam turns around and finds the angel much closer than he expected, about two feet away and scrutinizing him. It’s also not a pleasant feeling, but its weight is better than the burn of hunger.  
  
"Uh, hey Cas," Sam says and glances around for Dean. He shifts his weight from foot to foot, stuffs his hands in his pockets.  
  
"You should stop drinking its blood," Cas says. He frowns at Sam (and doesn’t that feel familiar), tilting his head further up to catch and hold Sam’s gaze.  
  
Sam feels pinned, but he manages to whisper, “I need it. Who else is gonna kill Lilith?”  
  
And for a second, Sam swears that Cas looks sad, but that’s silly, because the only emotions the angels have shown for him are disapproval and annoyance. Sadness would mean Cas actually cares.  
  
Cas reaches out and tugs at Sam’s arm. Sam takes his hand out of his pocket, uncertain as Cas folded it in his hands, one under and one over, like the first time they met.  
  
"No one," Cas tells him seriously. "If you do not kill Lilith, no one else will."  
  
And then the angel is gone, and Sam’s hunger burns even brighter, and there is Ruby calling him back.

 

* * *

 

II.  
  
Sam sees a lot of horrible things in the panic room. He sees his mom, and his dad, and everyone he’s gotten killed, and Dean -   
  
Well, Dean’s usually the worst. His words cut like the knives he uses to carve into Sam’s legs and torso. Sam tries to tell himself that it’s not real, it’s not Dean, but it’s hard, because the last time he saw Dean, his brother was staring at him in horror.  
  
Sometimes he sees Cas, too, and those are the weird times, because the angel doesn’t insult him, doesn’t torture him, just stands over him like he’s keeping guard. Those times are peaceful, and Sam finds himself relaxing while Cas is there. Of course, Cas leaves, just like the other hallucinations, and the pain and torture come back, but it’s nice to have some peace every now and then.

 

* * *

 

III.  
  
Whatever Death told Dean, Sam doesn’t know (and isn’t sure he wants to know), but now Dean’s on board with the plan to stuff Lucifer back into the cage. Sam isn’t sure whether to be sad or relieved. He settles for determined, because that’s all he’ll have room for when fighting for his life and the rest of the world. Against Lucifer.  
  
Oh, God.  
  
Sam’s outside, sitting on the hood of the Impala, feet propped on the bumper. He’s curled over his knees a bit, hunching his shoulders and resting his elbows on his thighs. He’s not sure he could stand company right now.  
  
There’s an awkward throat clearing next to him and he clenches his jaw, shoulders hunching a little more. The Impala creaks a bit when the fallen angel settles himself next to Sam, so close that Sam can feel his body heat. Sam pointedly doesn’t look up. He wants to be alone.  
  
"I was terrified to fall," Cas says suddenly. "I had no idea what awaited me. No way to know."  
  
"So why did you?" Sam asks quietly.  
  
"Because it was right," Cas says, and when he leans a little closer so their shoulders press together, Sam doesn’t move away.

 

* * *

 

IV.  
  
Sam wants to hug Cas when he finally shows up at Bobby’s. He’s so relieved that Cas is here, with them (with him), and that he’s alright, and that he listened, that he almost engulfs Cas in a hug. But he’s distracted by the flashes of fire at the corners of his eyes, and Cas is barely responsive as well, so all Sam manages is supporting him and asking how he is.  
  
Cas shoots him a brief smile, and he thinks maybe that’s enough for now.  
  
And then the leviathans happen.

 

* * *

 

V.  
  
Sam feels like he’s a thousand years old. His bones ache. He wants to sleep. He doesn’t see Lucifer anymore, or any other hallucination, but he has nightmares of Hell, and he remembers enough of it. He speaks fluent Enochian; he finds he no longer has to look hours for many references when reading the tricky language. It’s perhaps the only good thing that came out getting his soul back and having his wall broken down.  
  
Cas doesn’t stop by very often. Sam assumes that he doesn’t like the constant pressure from the fight against the leviathans. Sam doesn’t blame him; sometimes, Sam wants to just leave, but he couldn’t do that to Dean, so he sits and researches and reads Enochian limericks (Cas was right, quite a bit is lost in translation).  
  
Every so often, usually when Dean is out, Sam will just look up, and Cas will be sitting across the table from him, frowning at a paperback novel. (Last time, it was a Stephen King thriller; now it’s one of Phillipa Gregory’s historical fictions.) Sam smiles at Cas and goes back to his work, feeling a little lighter and a little better. Cas is usually gone again by the time Dean gets back - sometimes he barely stays ten minutes - but Sam likes his visits. They mean something.  
  
Sam doesn’t talk much when Cas is around, because he doesn’t really want to unload on him about the leviathans, but he likes to listen. Cas will talk about honeybees one day - about all their different names - and then high gothic architecture the next time he visits. It’s never boring, and it’s never difficult to listen.  
  
One day, before Cas leaves, Sam says, “I’m glad you’re here.”  
  
"Are you?" Cas asks, tilting his head a little.  
  
"Of course," Sam says, frowning a bit, because he didn’t know how Cas could think otherwise. "You’re my friend."  
  
Cas stares at him for a moment, and then slowly smiles. “As you are mine,” he says, and then vanishes.  
  
But that’s fine, because Sam knows he’ll be back.


End file.
